2007-07-18 - 12:17 p.m.

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They should charge admission to watch we work. 5$ and you can stand at my window and watch me deploy Java applications or dismantle a fried chicken wing with my teeth and hands. For a measly 5$ you can watch my frustration build up over the course of 8-10 hours. You can watch me disconnect from vital tasks at a moments notice to pay a bill online or practice doing the robot. You can hear me threaten co-workers with leeches. You can come back day after day and monitor my job hunt.

They should charge an additional 5$ to watch my commute home. Watch the emotional roller coaster of trying to get my boy home without him throwing up all over himself. You can watch the excitement as we get closer to home, the worry when he starts to make little gagging sounds, and the subsequent internal struggle of not vomiting myself when I smell the bile and partially digested granola bars and yogurt. You can see the careful extraction of a vomit-covered baby from a car seat and the mad dash to the bathtub.

They should charge 5$ to watch me fail. They could make a million dollars on my human weakness and frustration. If my regret were a marketable commodity they would trade it on the stock exchange. You could wager your 401K against me forgetting some important task or not buying birthday presents for loved ones.

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