At 11:20 Kevin stuck his head over the cube wall and told me there were updates that needed to go out to the website. I said okay. At 11:40 I looked for Kevin and didn't find him so I assumed he went to the meeting. I was getting into the car when my phone rang. It was Kevin. The updates need to be out to the site by noon for some remote employees who were doing a demo of our software.

I went back upstairs. At 11:50 I started unzipping the file. Since Windows and I have a different definition of "YES TO ALL" I had to wait untill the file was fully unzipped. Kevin and I left for the meeting around 12:10.

Of course, by the time we got there, the speaker was in full swing. We opened the door and everyone looked at us. I quickly took a seat and Kevin quickly went to the lunch buffet. I sat at my table, surrounded by eaten meals and consumed sodas and I entered some kind of quiet state of inner rage. I was fucking hungry, and why the fuck would you wait untill 11:50 during a required all employee meeting to give me the fucking zip file? The speaker droned on and I kept getting more and more angry.

I attempted to calm myself down. This wasn't a big deal by any stretch of the imagination. I told myself "Just stand up, go get some food, and eat the fucking food, then go back to work". I didn't. I sat there hating myself, hating whoever needed the updates, hating whoever did the updates (not Kevin, he's just the messenger), hating the speaker, and hating all my well fed fucking toady co-workers. I thought about how the chair would feel as I picked it up and hurled it into a table.

The administrative assistant lady came over and told me I should go eat. It was humiliating. She said she'd go up with me, like I was retarded child who needed her to scoop rice pilaf onto my plate. I told her I would eat after the speech and it wasn't a big deal. She sat down.

Then they started the Q&A portion of the speech. Jesus Fuck. The Q&A portion of the speech would best be described as "Look at me pretend to express an interest in the company". Several of my coworkers came very near to death during the Q&A portion of the meeting and they'll never know it.

The absolute high-point of my humiliation and frustration came when the office assistant raised her hand. Her question was "We only have the room untill 1:30 so if anyone hasn't eaten, please do so now". Everyone fucking turned around and looked at me. I stood up. I was the only one who stood up. I walked over to the buffet table, grabbed the wrong size plate, piled some shit on it, looked around frantically for a fork before remember that they were all at place settings back at my table, then went back to my seat and ate it quickly.

On my way out I grabbed a cookie. It was a really fucking good cookie.