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The managers I hate are the kind that say things like "I'm good at making people think outside the box". Never, ever, ever say "think outside the box" to me. I don't care about what color my fucking parachute is and I sure as shit don't have time to find where you moved my cheese. Yes, I do have time to write in my self-indulgent online journal.
"Who Moved my Cheese" was one of those books managers read. It's about coping with change. Here's my story of change.
We merged with another company and with a merger comes lots of change, particularly in the IT department. I am the IT department of my office of about 60 people. Recently, we did a full migration of our email system.
There has been a lot of fallout from this migration. I have to hear about it every fucking day and it makes me want to strangle people. I understand that it's different, and things don't work the same way they always did.
Let me stop here and say there is nothing more irritating to me than high-and-mighty IT people who think end users are morons and say things like "HUR HUR MUST BE AN ID-10T ERROR HA HA HA SOUNDS LIKE A PEBCAK SITUATION LOL!". There's no excuse for that shit. I get paid to help people use their computers, fix their problems, and keep things working. I enjoy doing it.
With that being said, yes, I did move their cheese but I told them all where it was and they still fucking bother me because they can't find it. I'm not saying these people are stupid, but they're afraid. "Matt", some lady said, "Glenn tried to book a conference room in Outlook Web Access this morning and it DIDN'T WORK! Plus he's having problems with his email contacts list!" You've never been able to book conference rooms in Outlook Web Access, and in the fucking instructions for the migration I fucking said how to fix your fucking contacts.
So don't run out and buy "Who Moved My Cheese". Instead, follow these three simple guidelines to dealing with change:
1. Go into it with a non-shitty attitude. I'm not saying be enthusiastic, because that's fucking annoying, but don't expect the sky to fall.
2. Research. Read up on what's changing. If someone else is doing the change and you're affected, listen to what they fucking say because if you don't and you ask a question that's already been addressed, that person will hate you and change the background of your desktop to a picture of some woman spraying diarrhea into her own face.
3. Shut the fuck up. Things may be scary right after a change and you may have questions and concerns. That's perfectly natural. However, if you don't have specific questions and concerns, shut the fuck up. "I don't trust this new email system" is not a fucking valid concern. You don't trust it because 1. You didn't read anything I fucking sent you, and 2. You went into this with a shitty attitude, you fucking jerk.
Believe it or not, things work on a pretty well established, non-magical level. There is a cause and a reason for how everything works. It's hard not understanding that reason, but that doesn't mean the thing is bad. There will always be growing pains, but by having a good attitude, researching, and shutting the fuck up, you can easily survive any change.
And get this, some of the worst offenders of the moved cheese phenomenon are the same fucking managers who read these fucking books.
