At the last checkpoint in my mental race, Thomas Kinkade was eeking out Anne Geddes by a hair. Thomas Kinkade paints those atrocious pictures of nature and cottages that look like overly-vivid douche commercials from 1986. I have a deep, personal hatred for Thomas Kinkade because he has the audacity to call himself "The Painter of Light". If there were a white trash museum, Thomas Kinkade would have his own wing.

The thing that made me retch and fill with rage was this fucking abortion of a book. It's fucking Anne Geddes teamed up with Celine Fucking Dion, the biggest streak of shit ever to stain the underpants of the music world. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes.

Who are the people who buy this shit? Go to Amazon and look up the Anne Geddes book, and then read the user reviews. They're fucking terrible. Check this out:
The pictures and the voice are so beautiful that it is really inspirational for anyone who is expecting. It will put any mom in a postive frame of mind about having a new baby in her life.
Fuck! I hope that if I ever manage to fire my seed into my special lady's awaiting egg which subsequently divides and lodges in her uterine wall and forms a child I don't turn into a total fucking pussy like these people. There's nothing wrong with having kids and loving your kids and loving babies, but there IS something wrong with finding Anne Geddes and Celine Dion inspirational. But wait, this one is even better!

From the minute you hear the first song and open the book you are in tears of JOY. This is one of the most beautiful books that goes along with a CD in a longggg time. It is worth every penny you spend on it. All my friends with children or going to have any in the furtue, will be getting one. It remines you why our children are the joys of our life. ENJOY!!!!
I know in my heart of hearts that this woman's vehicle is totally covered in magnetic "support our troops" ribbons. Everyone take a moment and be thankful that you aren't this woman's friend so you don't get one of these horrible books and have to pretend that you like it untill she leaves and you draw big penises on Celine Dion with a sharpie before you chuck it in your neighbors trash so the garbage men don't think it's yours. I know I make my fair share of spelling and grammar mistakes, but there no is no reason you should ever need four exclamation points.